Sad News for Alex, Nikolai and Felix

[Clover]

Purple that image of being out to sea in a small boat is so powerful. When I lost my father three years ago I remember saying to my husband "I feel as if the roof has fallen off the house." I realised that no matter how grown up you are, there is a basic and deep security in having your parents around in the world. Losing a parent is in the natural order of things but I found it one of the most profound and painful experiences of my life.

Jane,
Just wanted to send you a few hugs!

[PeDe]

Purple that image of being out to sea in a small boat is so powerful. When I lost my father three years ago I remember saying to my husband "I feel as if the roof has fallen off the house." I realised that no matter how grown up you are, there is a basic and deep security in having your parents around in the world. Losing a parent is in the natural order of things but I found it one of the most profound and painful experiences of my life.

Jane,
Just wanted to send you a few hugs!

I am joining Clover in her hugs, Jane, I'm very sorry to hear about your loss and ITA, 

[Jane]

Thanks Pede and Clover.

I certainly think this is a time of Alex's life when looking ravaged and old is par for the course!

[Purple]

I can't leave this post without saying a few last words:  I wish you all, Clover, PeDe and Jane, courage, and inner peace in whatever faces you in the future.  Thank you also for the super kind sentiments and encouragement  :-)-(-:b :-)-(-:b

Thanks very much to you too Royal Observer 

[PeDe]

I can't leave this post without saying a few last words:  I wish you all, Clover, PeDe and Jane, courage, and inner peace in whatever faces you in the future.  Thank you also for the super kind sentiments and encouragement  :-)-(-:b :-)-(-:b

Thanks very much to you too Royal Observer 

Purple, I just saw your post, and I am sending you my warmest wishes. We all have lost a very important part of us and that somehow brings us together in understanding on a whole other level.

So let me say this and then be still. Sometimes sitting quietly, allowing ourselves to focus, relaxing into our pain may stimulate the tears. But if it doesn't, perhaps we simply aren't ready to cry. Be assured, we all will cry. And, like grief ebbs and flows, so will our need to cry.

And, what if we suddenly find ourselves enjoying something, actually laughing until tears flow again? Sometimes we are shocked to think we might be forgetting our pain, forgetting our loved one and moving forward, we may suck our breath inward, gasp our tears back, feel guilt and remorse instead of gladness. Is this the way it is to be forever? How long before we allow ourselves to anticipate good things even while succumbing to periods of grief and longing? The answer will be repetitive ... as long as we need it to be ...

Life is full of sorrow, from birth to death. Life is also full of wonder and joy. We experience so much in this world. Tears are small miracles of life, for tears of joy and tears of pain both heal. This spring we will watch bulbs blossom, trees turn green and grass peek through. Perhaps hidden in our grief, almost without our acknowledgment or our awareness, we will sense our own growth, too. We will celebrate our humanness by honoring our need to cry or not to cry. We will laugh when we can, cry if we feel it, and allow others to do what they find healing, too.

I send you all big, big hugs and much love!

[Clover]

PeDe,
Well said and thank you for being so supportive! Sending you much love!  
To everyone,
It was so nice to be able to share my feelings with people who truly understand what I am feeling! Thanks!

[Purple]

Thank you PeDe.  Your words are truly heart warming - very, very touching, and I agree with Clover - it was wonderful to share these feelings and to have also given some comfort back.  Thanks again to everyone.

[danishorphan]

wow you guys are really making me sad and my father is still alive. Purple, PeDe, Clover, RO, Jane, I am sad that you are suffering and have loss like that. i dont think i will feel that way when my father goes. I wish I could say that i would have these powerful feelings of loss, but I know i wont. I am not close to him and never have been and never will. tolerance is the operating word. a certain respect. he didnt do anything violent or illegal to me, but what he didnt do is what has kept us apart. So in some ways you are fortunate that you had a good relationship that you can mourn the loss of. I think that is what im trying gently to say. to all of you. So, too, is Alex when she can grieve for her dad.

[royal observer]

wow you guys are really making me sad and my father is still alive. Purple, PeDe, Clover, RO, Jane, I am sad that you are suffering and have loss like that. i dont think i will feel that way when my father goes. I wish I could say that i would have these powerful feelings of loss, but I know i wont. I am not close to him and never have been and never will. tolerance is the operating word. a certain respect. he didnt do anything violent or illegal to me, but what he didnt do is what has kept us apart. So in some ways you are fortunate that you had a good relationship that you can mourn the loss of. I think that is what im trying gently to say. to all of you. So, too, is Alex when she can grieve for her dad.

Danishorphan, my dad is alive - I was just offering support to Purple, PeDe, Clover and Jane. As for your father, I think I understand. Tolerance and a certain respect if not closeness is fine, depending on your relationship.

[Michelle]

My sincerest condolences to Purple, PeDe, Clover and Jane.  My grandmother, who had been in the ICU since last november, just passed away peacefully yesterday surrounded by her loved ones.  I know how it is to lose someone you deeply love and adore as I am going through it right now. 

[Elissa]

I'm so sorry for your loss. Many thoughts for you and your family Michelle.
and my condolences to you Purple, PeDe, Clover and Jane.   

One of my closest friends lost her mother last October. A brain tumor. Even if the issue was known for many months, even with time to brace yourself, it was awfully sad when she finally passed away.

[getafix]

wow you guys are really making me sad and my father is still alive. Purple, PeDe, Clover, RO, Jane, I am sad that you are suffering and have loss like that. i dont think i will feel that way when my father goes. I wish I could say that i would have these powerful feelings of loss, but I know i wont. I am not close to him and never have been and never will. tolerance is the operating word. a certain respect. he didnt do anything violent or illegal to me, but what he didnt do is what has kept us apart. So in some ways you are fortunate that you had a good relationship that you can mourn the loss of. I think that is what im trying gently to say. to all of you. So, too, is Alex when she can grieve for her dad.

there is a lovely saying (forgotten from which culture...) that says We chose our friends and inherit our family.
sometimes when a parent is 'faulty' like yours (no offense/or attack) we compensate by being close to other father/mother figures in our lives to give us what we have been missing from our own biological parents...

G

[hanzo1]

I'm so sorry for your loss  wish you all strength to get through It 

[Clover]

wow you guys are really making me sad and my father is still alive. Purple, PeDe, Clover, RO, Jane, I am sad that you are suffering and have loss like that. i dont think i will feel that way when my father goes. I wish I could say that i would have these powerful feelings of loss, but I know i wont. I am not close to him and never have been and never will. tolerance is the operating word. a certain respect. he didnt do anything violent or illegal to me, but what he didnt do is what has kept us apart. So in some ways you are fortunate that you had a good relationship that you can mourn the loss of. I think that is what im trying gently to say. to all of you. So, too, is Alex when she can grieve for her dad.

I have seen people grieve the loss of a parent who wasn't very loving, precisely because of what wasn't and could have been. I was not close to my father, he had many faults. In many ways I grieved the loss of what never was and would never be. Grief takes many forms.

My sincerest condolences to Purple, PeDe, Clover and Jane.  My grandmother, who had been in the ICU since last november, just passed away peacefully yesterday surrounded by her loved ones.  I know how it is to lose someone you deeply love and adore as I am going through it right now. 

Michelle,
I am sorry to hear about your grandmother. I will keep you in my thoughts during this time. 

I'm so sorry for your loss. Many thoughts for you and your family Michelle.
and my condolences to you Purple, PeDe, Clover and Jane.   

One of my closest friends lost her mother last October. A brain tumor. Even if the issue was known for many months, even with time to brace yourself, it was awfully sad when she finally passed away.

Elissa,
So sorry! 

I'm so sorry for your loss  wish you all strength to get through It 

Hanzo,
Thanks! 

[Purple]

I have to come back and say thanks to everyone with all my heart, and Michelle, so sorry about your Grandmother and everything you had to go through.

Danishorphan, Clover expressed it well for me.  I had a difficult relationship with my father but was beginning to get closer to him and then he died alone at the front of his house, thousands of miles far away from me ...  Yes, it's very true what Clover said:  grief takes many forms and it is an expression of the complexity and depth of a relationship, which when a person is gone, just completely spins you into a vortex.

I truly wish you all the best Danishorphan - I can only imagine how hard it must be.